The Brick and Mortar Theory

As an astrologer, one of the things that I do is talk to people about creating balance in their life. A life out of balance can feel overwhelming, difficult or downright miserable. By looking at the natal chart we can analyze a person’s proclivities, tendencies and patterns. It can show us what fabulous contradictions construct our personalities.

Armed with that knowledge, we can work with ourselves instead of railing against our very nature.

Here’s a question, though. What does it mean to live a balanced life or to be balanced?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Balance is personal and individual.

Most of us strive to determine the proper equation of work and play. Activity and rest. Family time and alone time. Prosperity and creativity. Effort and allowing. Social time and personal space. Public success and private victories. Healthy and indulgent. The list goes on and on.

This formula for balance changes. It depends upon our current age, our current goals, and our current values, amongst other influences. It is as unique as a fingerprint.

This is where my brick-and-mortar theory comes in.

I have decided that one way to look at achieving a life balance is to consider each element of the life as either a brick, or mortar.

Because you cannot build anything of substance without both.

One could argue about which is more important, but that really isn’t up for debate. The question is: Which category do you assign the elements of your unique and individual balanced life?

For some people, family is the brick. For these people, work is something that is accomplished, but the purpose is to support the family. The family is more of a priority in this person’s life. They absorb more of their time, energy and focus. Work is mortar.

Now, this does not mean that these people are not successful or high achievers. It doesn’t mean that they are lazy or uninterested or shirking their job responsibilities. It simply means that their focus is family and the responsibilities associated with those relationships take center stage in their lives.

For others, work is the brick. And family is the mortar, the part that weaves together and supports the career. These folks enjoy their work, either feeling more of a purpose or calling with their job, or possibly other motivations like money, power and status. It could also be just a time in their life when they have to hustle. The family might need them to be a primary breadwinner, or they are building their business or career. Even if it isn’t what they want in the long term, Work is a brick.

Maybe exercise is a brick; you really enjoy your gym time, yoga class, CrossFit, pickleball, bicycling, running, whatever.

Or, perhaps for you, it’s mortar; it’s something you do only because it’s good for you, or that you feel you must do. You grudgingly join your spouse for short hikes on the weekend, or take the stairs and not the elevator to get in your “steps.”

You might actually really enjoy physical exercise and activity; but at this point in your life, you do not have the time. You might wish for it to be a brick; but at this point, for whatever reason, it’s mortar. And that’s okay.

Once you realize this, you might set an intention or goal for it to become a brick.

Creative work can be a brick; perhaps you earn a living with your art, music or creative savvy. Or maybe it’s mortar; sometimes deployed at work, but explored more in the realm of hobbies or weekend activities.

You can take this to the next level -- what are you building with this brick and mortar? Is it a wall, or a structure? Is it permanent or temporary?

Maybe right now when you visualize it, work feels more like a utilitarian concrete block; heavy, onerous. Maybe the mortar that is family seems crumbly and unstable.

The life that you are building, brick by brick; is it pleasing to you? Is it something you are proud of? Is it strong enough to withstand the storms of life?

And, if it falls. This structure that you have built. Brick and mortar. Because, sometimes, it will. How will you build it back better and stronger? To your own specifications, preferences and desires. With your own goals, accomplishments and dreams?

Shanti (peace),

Jill