Motherhood … and other impossible things

There are so many ways to become a mother. Some of us seek and grasp and commit to the process consciously. We seek the perfect man to become our partner and the father of our child/children; or perhaps just a man willing to be a father. We prime our bodies and our minds; and we mate, and we conceive. 

For other women, it is like the author Anne LaMott says; 20 minutes of random, sweaty sex; and you create a human. And 20 minutes might be generous. 

Suddenly; your world has changed. The world as you have known it has ended. There is another life in the balance, entering the equation. There is this Being taking over your body. It is going to change your life and rock your world. And there is not much time to prepare you for this evolution.

Nine months sounds like a long time. Let me be the first to tell you -- nine months is nothing. It is nothing! And so, this little Being; this little life is inside of you. A cosmic gathering of cells. It begins to change you; change you from the inside out.

Like it or not, you are on your way to motherhood. And other impossible things.

How can astrology help you with this journey? Well, I might not have learned everything or even a sliver of everything; but I’ve learned a thing or two. And it wasn’t until recently that I thought that perhaps I could offer some advice or wisdom to those of you raising children. 

One day my neighbor texted me and asked “So, to get my kids to be like yours, do I have to get rid of my television?”

One thing that I have realized about parenting is to not take too much credit, nor to take too much blame. I’ve raised some incredible human beings but, in many ways, they raised me. I have been humbled to my knees raising them. 

They crushed my dreams at the same moment they built new ones. I had boxes in my mind that they should fit in, and they destroyed them. 

Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love. So don’t judge yourself too harshly. 

Always remember that if you can feed your child and love your child, that is more than most mothers on this planet can manage to do. You’re blessed. The path is open before you. You may never totally understand yourself. You may never totally understand your child. But you can learn and grow together.

How can astrology help? 

It can help you to understand the beautiful blend of contradictions that create a human being. By developing this self-awareness and uncovering patterns of your lineage and family you can begin to consciously create change. Knowing how we think (our Mercury), how we feel (our Moon) and how we love (our Venus) and then understanding how our child thinks, how they feel, how they love, we can create a healthy relationship with appropriate boundaries and support.

I have often thought of my children as houseplants. One might like the window and the other might prefer less light. One might be a bit of a cactus, requiring less water and being a bit prickly. The other might be a prized orchid, needing daily attention but only blooming on their own terms.

The key I think is to identify those needs and do your best to provide them. And then detach. Because you cannot force growth. You cannot be responsible for their happiness or success. You are not responsible for their choices. They have their own mission, and their own ideas about what IS happiness and success. 

You grinding yourself down to nothing in order to attempt to make them happy or successful is neither sustainable nor productive. 

Start with your own natal chart; learn about yourself. And from that place of strength and awareness, learn about your child’s chart. Not so that you can use it for criticism or the “oh well, you’re a LEO, so you’re that way ….” No. No, no, no. Learn about your child’s chart to understand your role in their life; to see how they want to express themselves; to gain a greater understanding of how they think and feel and love. 

This helps a lot with the idea of taking too much credit or too much blame. Your child has come here to walk their path; to learn their lessons and leave their legacy. And they chose YOU to be a light along the way. Give thanks for those opportunities to serve, no matter how difficult they become.

Reach out with questions, or to book a consultation. I always prefer to work with children whose personalities have begun to develop, so there is no tendency to make assumptions about the way they are going to express their chart. If you’ve ever met twins, you know that there are many ways that the planets seek expression in the signs! So a minimum age of 2 is suggested.

Curious but uncertain where to start? I would suggest starting with the Deep Dive natal and transit reading for yourself; absorb and understand yourself FIRST. And then perhaps a short 30-minute consultation for the child or children, to gain a greater understanding. Later, a session for the child in their early teenage years can be very helpful; often children are more in their Moon sign before puberty hits. For them to understand not just their Sun sign but their Moon and Rising sign is so helpful.

Another great launching place to start the conversation about astrology is through computer generated printable natal readings and charts. These make great gifts, and I have them available for $25.00. Email me (Jill@NuitAstrology.com) for details.

And the best parenting advice? Remember to breathe ….

Shanti,

Jill